through my pen

My eyes swell with water, but i fight it back in
i refuse to let a tear fall cause I cry through my pen
Heart hurts to beat cause of the pain thats with in
but i refuse to let a tear fall cause I cry through my pen
For many years my pen has been my best friend
when no one would listen or when i needed a hand
A confidant I could count on through thick and thin
that help ease the pain and heartache better than man
It never judged or belittled me or my thoughts
it has always been there no matter what time i call
Over the years we've been through  it all
phases in life both big and small
I had a good day today
so I smiled through pen
Shared a few jokes yesterday
so I laughed through it
Last week he pissed me off
so yeah i vented with my pen
But as of right now Im an emotional wreck
and what i need to do most is to cry through my pen
I refuse to let water steam from these eyes
cause its not worth the tears, but I cant seem to hide
the hurt and anguish deep down inside
Something about hurt and pain doesnt fade away
it only adds up, like a volcano ready to erupt
Until one day when I blow up
and it all pours out
And everything comes boiling over in a rush
so strong it could crush the very ground we stand on
So I reach for my pen
as though it were the shoulder of my best friend
And I release a cry so sweet and cleansing to the soul
that when its all said and done the pain has turned cold
I no longer feel a rage of fire and animosity
and things no longer appear to me as a monstrosity
I didnt shead a tear
and let disappointments get the best of me
I just picked up my pen and cried through its ink
to release the stress and disappointment that once had a hold on me.
  -J.Shaw