These kids

Man oh man these kids...
went to go tutor on Wednesday and because the center is short handed with mentors i had two kid: my usual little girl and a little boy. So in this particular day we had stations. There were 7 stations this day and you spend 10mins at each doing something different. So from the minute I got there I said "hey___(child's name goes there..lol) how are you today. This little girl looked at me and rolled her eyes and looked away. PAUSE! So I let it go.  When we get to our 3rd station we were working on a puzzle now idk what was wrong with the little boy but he was acting like he was hard of hearing too, so he left and went with the center director when we got our 3rd station. So the girls brother came in the room and she put on this sad face and kept sayn she wanna go home( which she always does when her brother comes in the room) so or course he asked what was wrong she says nothing then asked her if she needed help with her puzzle she said yes, he proceeds to say then ask your mentor she's sitting right there. I tell him she is not speaking to me today and proceed to try and offer her help as she continues to not listen. So he threatens to tell their mother how rude she was acting, (usually that works) this time it did not.  When we get to our next station instead of asking me to go to the bathroom she goes to the center director, who is helping her brother with his homework, and asks her. Then her brother asks her why she didn't just ask me, as i sit there and watch. PAUSE AGAIN. so we get to our last station of the day. Now at the end of each session you give them points from 0-2 depending on behavior and if they completed what they were suppose to. After almost 2hrs of not talking to me this little girl gonna look at me and say "Do I get a 2?" PAAAAUUUUSSSEEEEE! " OH HELL NAH.. YOU REALLY GONNA SIT HERE AND ASK ME IF YOU GET A 2 AFTER YOU IGNORED ME FOR THE ENTIRE SESSION.. ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??? (is what i wanted to say) so i just looked at her straight faced and said.. "A-HA no".
SMH these kids

Proactive

sights set...
eyes locked...
sheets gripped...
bed rocked,
AAAHHH...door knocked
but damn it who could it be
on first look its all so apparent to me
its not so much of a friend or an enemy
just "someone" i would rather not see
my mind told me something was wrong
shoulda said stop, (when it didnt feel right to me)
but passions were flowing
& feelings were nice for me
but now I'm sitting here full of anxiety
for you see something has happened to me
because of my own stupidity, its not like i didn't know
i just chose not to cross my "T's" & dot my "I's"
now I'm in a situation where I'm forced to realize
how the consequences of my mistakes can be my demise
The looks on your faces tell me your kinda confused
but I'll fill in the blanks, because my captive audience I don't wanna lose
the full story is as follows:
stranger across the room...
sights set...
eyes locked...
sheets gripped... (missing link)
condom popped
aha what a bed rock
realization
now hearts racing, minds pacing
Rite Aid pharmacy, tryna buy a Plan B
do as the directions say
period is SUPPOSE to be here in a week
hoping and praying like never before
but three days after that week knees hit the floor
for God has not forsaken me and I feel that i can relax once more
Wake up in the middle of the night
to realize I've only closed one door
panic sets in and i cant get back to sleep
as soon as 9am hits i set out to meet
the doctor at the clinic up the street cause
I shoulda been tested for STD's last week
after two frantic weeks of waitin and anticipating all results are in
I'm in the clear for now but every three months for the next 2 years I have to check in
just to make sure there is nothing lying dormant from him
but see all this could have be avoided if i just used the knowledge from within
I already knew the "know how's" and i have no one to blame but me
so to prevent a situation such as the one I've portrayed 
here are three vital rules for you to take away
rule one: check the expiration date for yourself
rule two: make sure the packaging isn't tampered with as well
and rule three:  if all else fails carry your own
cause the responsibility of protecting yourself isn't placed on the  man alone
women its time to be proactive when it comes to your health
cause the contraction of STD's is killing off our community
and so many young girls are dealing with teenage pregnancies
because no one ever taught them that prevention was better than cure
see I gave you three rules now im gonna give you a challenge
to teach at least 3 young girls the rules of being proactive.
                    -J.Shaw©

I dont like this

so all day I've been feeling really ugh.. idk if its cause I'm getting ready to go back to school  or if its just not a good day for me. But i have this feeling like a need let something out. What I have no idea, but it is killing me. I feel like a needa good cry, but I'm not a cryer so that must mean something, expect i have no idea what the hell is going on with me right now and this shit is driving me crazy. no amount of prayer has made this go away and i think i just might have to find a way to make myself cry, but then what if that doesn't help and i still feel this way, then i cried for nothing. UGH WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ME. i guess its life.. ah well..hopefully this too shall pass. EH

A thought of you

(I wasnt gonna post this but i thought y the hell not, i wrote it a LONG time ago soo, here goes)

The things I wanna do to you
I can’t explain to you

I can’t wait to get next to you
and have my way with you

The way you hit it from behind
and when you do that slow grind
ooooo it blows my mind

All day I can’t wait
to make it home to you

And do all the things
that you want me to

I know everything you like
and that is just what I will do

Never been a fan of goen down
but I do it for you
cause I love the expression on your face when I do

And I love the way you say my name
when that shit get to good for you

And you don’t wanna go out like a ‘punk’
so that’s when I get to riding you

But you wanna take command
so I lay back and let you do what you do

And today you’re on an all time high
I can tell by the way your hands are gripping my thighs

We move from the bed to the floor
you get it right on the walls and the doors

With a simultaneous grind
we reach climax…
then relax …and I go to sleep
from the sound of your heartbeat.

           - J.Shaw©

RELIEF

words can not describe, the fire I feel inside

the things I want to do, when I get my hands on you
the ease you bring to me, is nothing short of heavenly
you have the ability to relax me physically, mentally and emotionally
every time we meet its all so new to me
each experience is unforgettable and engraves within me distinct memories
I cant be without you for to long cause it puts me in misery
that's why I'm glad that you live so close to me
no need to hit you up on facebook, shoot you a text, or call
whenever I wanna see you I just walk over to my desk and that's all
see this is not about a person and this is not about sex
this is an entirely old fashion way to relieve stress
its a little something I like to call 'paper and pen'
so when all else fails... this is where I begin

       -J.Shaw

Ahhhhh NO!

where did winter break go?!?! Sigh... I am so not ready for scool right now. I mean  it seems like I just started break so how is it that it is now over? Where in the heck did time go? I guess I have no choice bt to get back in school mode cause these classes aint gonna wait for me 2 be good & ready to start, cause if that was the case classes would never start. Haha. (T-minus 9 days until classes start) :-(