Semblance

It's been 30 days

12 hours, 16 minutes,

7 seconds and counting

 

12 nights of sleeplessness

10 where sleep required crying

and 8 when you considered you'd be better off no longer trying

 

But before you know it, day 31’s on the horizon

as you’re shaken from your restless dreamin’

to that 7 o'clock alarm screamin’

 

Bloodshot eyes stare up at stock white ceiling

dreading the imminent disrobing of true feelings

to dawn the persona not in need of deep healing

 

Warm waters fail to soothe gut wrenching anxieties

cold stares are the only reflections

portraying true disquiets unseen to society

 

How nicely you hide the evidence

donning your nicest appeal inspired by Eva Mendes

dark tones on this day, that in actuality project your inner calamity 

 

Basing on your NW45 Studio Fix Fluid

NW40 to conceal the inadequacies that seeped through it

Nocturnelle accented with Black Glitters, brows don Spiked

in hopes of elevating moods to new heights

Black current lined in Nightmoth

dresses the doors to pearly whites

 

You truly are one beautiful sight

 

But the last thing you do to keep your façade tight

is remember to smile

as not to draw suspicion to the fact that

you are not alright 

Mela` J

Im Tired

I'm tired of going out of my way to prove I'm not a threat

I'm tired of going out of my way to prove that I have intellect

I'm tired of being stigmatized by the stereotypes you choose to elect

in light of the facts you choose to neglect

Entity

One thing I hate that people like to say is,
I'm colorblind &  I don't see race

so as my analytical gears start to turn,
I wonder what do you see when you look in my face

I'm not a mirrored image of yourself looking at you
and I'm almost certain you couldn't  last half a mile in my shoes

if you don't see race, then what do you see
a mythological fantasy of how we wish life could be?

do you believe that we are living in this world equally?
and that you can identify with my plight through empathy?

are we one in the same, only distinguished by a pigment and name?
do the milestones of our histories read the same?

If you don't see color then what do you see?
because everything about our lives differs so drastically.

the things that come easy for you
are equivalent to my World War3

but as I speak and say these words
I know that you don't understand me!

I find it hard to believe that you're blind to the pigment in my skin
cause if you don't see color

then you don't see me... as a human entity.

Face Value

Don't read more than whats written
because miscues will lead you astray
false hope given with subtle gestures
will have you in a place of dismay

Don't assume whats not stated
for intent is hardly ever clear
as we tend to Waltz on the borderline
of friendship and intimate fears

Give what you want to receive
and expect just that in return
but if you fail to don't be surprised
if you find yourself lover scorned

©

Mela` J