She

She is one of many complexities.

Stereotyped and stigmatized by her own because of the images seen on TV  

Negative connotations surround her because years of oppression have suppressed her inner being.

"She wears a crown on the head but the worlds on her shoulders"

As she struggles to disprove the very stigma that is she, that is her identity, as its been forced on her by every outside entity

She's been pegged as angry, unapproachable and cold/ but deep inside she has the most beautiful soul

She's accused of thinking she's better than you/ when in reality she knows her value is more precious than gold

She's trying to be comfortable in her skin/ yet the world refuses to let her grow, because based on their opinions lower than dirt is where she lands on the totem pole

Having and upholding her morals and standards doesn’t make her stuck up/ maybe it's time you step your game up

She's not bourgeoisie, It's just her "crown too heavy like the Queen Nefertiti"

 As she walks around wondering why can't the world see me?

Why won't they let me be me, 100% authentic as He created me

Black Queens you see it's time we put on a new identity/ stereotype ourselves with positivity

Let the world see us for who we are and not who they want us to be

We got to stop dwelling on what they think/ cause "they" are irrelevant to we live our lives happily

So with that in my mind I wake up daily and tell myself/

"Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I wanna love who am"

And I will do so unconditionally

Semblance

It's been 30 days

12 hours, 16 minutes,

7 seconds and counting

 

12 nights of sleeplessness

10 where sleep required crying

and 8 when you considered you'd be better off no longer trying

 

But before you know it, day 31’s on the horizon

as you’re shaken from your restless dreamin’

to that 7 o'clock alarm screamin’

 

Bloodshot eyes stare up at stock white ceiling

dreading the imminent disrobing of true feelings

to dawn the persona not in need of deep healing

 

Warm waters fail to soothe gut wrenching anxieties

cold stares are the only reflections

portraying true disquiets unseen to society

 

How nicely you hide the evidence

donning your nicest appeal inspired by Eva Mendes

dark tones on this day, that in actuality project your inner calamity 

 

Basing on your NW45 Studio Fix Fluid

NW40 to conceal the inadequacies that seeped through it

Nocturnelle accented with Black Glitters, brows don Spiked

in hopes of elevating moods to new heights

Black current lined in Nightmoth

dresses the doors to pearly whites

 

You truly are one beautiful sight

 

But the last thing you do to keep your façade tight

is remember to smile

as not to draw suspicion to the fact that

you are not alright 

Mela` J

Im Tired

I'm tired of going out of my way to prove I'm not a threat

I'm tired of going out of my way to prove that I have intellect

I'm tired of being stigmatized by the stereotypes you choose to elect

in light of the facts you choose to neglect

Entity

One thing I hate that people like to say is,
I'm colorblind &  I don't see race

so as my analytical gears start to turn,
I wonder what do you see when you look in my face

I'm not a mirrored image of yourself looking at you
and I'm almost certain you couldn't  last half a mile in my shoes

if you don't see race, then what do you see
a mythological fantasy of how we wish life could be?

do you believe that we are living in this world equally?
and that you can identify with my plight through empathy?

are we one in the same, only distinguished by a pigment and name?
do the milestones of our histories read the same?

If you don't see color then what do you see?
because everything about our lives differs so drastically.

the things that come easy for you
are equivalent to my World War3

but as I speak and say these words
I know that you don't understand me!

I find it hard to believe that you're blind to the pigment in my skin
cause if you don't see color

then you don't see me... as a human entity.

Face Value

Don't read more than whats written
because miscues will lead you astray
false hope given with subtle gestures
will have you in a place of dismay

Don't assume whats not stated
for intent is hardly ever clear
as we tend to Waltz on the borderline
of friendship and intimate fears

Give what you want to receive
and expect just that in return
but if you fail to don't be surprised
if you find yourself lover scorned

©

Mela` J

HE

He is more than what the plain eye sees/

complex like the inner workings of computer circuitry it/

takes time to understand all that makes him who/ he is not what you call him but what he answers to/ intelligent, ambitious, courageous and beautiful/

rarely describes him and the things he does to compensate for the hand/ he's dealt with adversities and animosity thrown by adversaries/

and still you don't see the strength it takes for him to live as he/ is striving and yearning for a release of stigmas/ society likes to see failure prevail/ but only if his mind allows/ it shall be written anew that he will overcome that which limits you/

using his education and motivations he displays innovation to execute the root/ of the degradation and humiliation he faced during his youth/

composed of layers like shingled roofs/ he protects you from the harsh winds of hater and/ low blows no longer phase him cause mentally he knows/ the true power he holds is far more than physical/ their judgment doesn't define him/ because his success silences the masses/

he is an outlier in rare form/ not a product of a disadvantage/

no one taught him to be who he is/ only not to be where he lives/

like Vonage he breaks down walls separating him from the achievements others said didn't belong/ to him is uninspiring past propels him to be better than the coward of a father that left his mother when he was three/ better than the teachers that told him what he couldn't be/ and better than the expectations of his 8th ward community/

he's gone against the grain and done something insane/ he's created himself as an example of what it means to be/ the change needed on our urban communities/ and be the role model young boys don't see on tv/ his pants don't hang off his ass because he carries himself with class/ he doesn't call you out your name/ because he wasn't raised that way/

he is an educator, a mentor and the best father he can be/ as a lover and provider, he is the husband of his wife's dreams/ but out of all that he is & can be/ the one thing you fail to see/

is that he is the most lethal WMD/ because he is the African-American man/ that's living his life contrary to popular belief.
 ©
-Mela` J

The Man (Lynch letter)

This system and society was not designed to empower those of us that look like you and me/ but rather to promote its prosperity through the eradication of our communities/ in 1712 limits were placed on me far before my conception became reality/ and 302 years later these methods have proven to be the most successful demise of a cultures identity/ but we as a people aren't the only ones who have suffered through some kind of adversity/ you see the Jews suffered through Hitler and his reign/ and the Indians battled through the pilgrims plagues/ cultures, identities, persons abused, battered and raped/ significance killed and their history blemished with the actions "the man" took to diminish their names/ and yet their history is rich and engraved with the stands and achievements they made to change the game/

So why do we/ my community continue to use "the man" as an excuse for the advancements we fail to obtain?/ why have we allowed 302 year old limits to become out name/ and regulate how we live and raise our children to this day/ If Lynch never wrote his letter would it still be this way?/ Sometimes I have to sit back and ask myself if the past is really still to blame?/I’ve read the Lynch letter and I know what is says/ It says to break the Black man, then break the Black woman, and in turn she'll raise the Black child, male or female, broken in their image/ put man against women, that is husband against wife/ field against house, that is dark against light/ old against young, that is wisdom verses ignorance/ then sit back and watch because this is the method by which you'll gain your slaves obedience/...

Ah, nail on the head, hammer strikes its blow/ the truth was hidden in writing and we all know how that story goes/ Lynch himself said his method was a guarantee/ so effective that the results would be prevalent for 100s of years to see/ he said to break the Black man take his mind/ strip one bare for all to see/ tar and feather him/ then to instill that they are weak/ bullwhip the observing males until death is nearly their defeat/ but make sure the women and children are there to see/ this intricate detail proved instrumental in breaking the black woman and thusly the black family/...

Because now the protective male image her Black man once was, she no longer sees/ and psychologically she has become frozen in a state of independency/ and instead of raising her children how they used to be/ out of fear she raises them in reverse psychology/ teaching her son to be mentally weak, which leaves him dependent, but strong physically/ and she raises her daughter to live in her frozen state of independency/ so they learn to protect the now psychologically submissive male/ and raise their children in the shadows of what men and women used to be/ hmm something about that is eerily familiar to me/...

The letter goes on to say to maintain your slave communities/ use crossbreeding to strip them of their natural identity/ create them in so many shades until they become confused about who they are/ and they become half of who they used to be/ they'll be forced to believe that what is told to them is true/ and their history will remain obsolete/ because their reality is that they are and will remain in your servitude/ and as long as you diminish their values, the only thing they'll have left to value is you/...

Now by this I’m confused/ since Black history and current events show me this is not true/ because if it were there would be no me, as I am today, and there would be no you/ civil rights would fail to have existed/ as would MLK and Malcolm X/ and you better believe Barak Obama would never have been president/ so having accomplished all this, it brings me back to say is the past really still to blame?/ why does is seem that as we progress one step, we regressing three?/ is it in order to maintain the ability to blame "the man" for initially raping us of our names, cultures, identity and prosperity?/...

Could it be that we remain ignorant to the system that was devised to keep us at bay/ because even though we are physically free our minds remain shackled and chained/ and the only way I see for us to truly be free and regain our identity/ is for us to better educate our children and stop repeating history mentally.

©

-Mela` J.